III-1. After I quitted a writing job, I restarted writing for my own story. But I could not hit any stories so soon. I went a journey to get A STORY. The journey was very short, only went to Shinjuku or Shibuya.
When I was walking down the street in the around of ALTA studio, I found an used VHS movie in a store. It was a war movie which was ‘ Cross of Iron.’ It was a story which was killing each other among Nazi soldiers.
— It was very interesting for me. I watched it repeatedly.
One day, after I got this movie, some man and woman came across with me. The man said to the woman, ” I gave it to him.” They just passed away from me. They looked so brilliant that I found they were the mass media persons. It was that people called ‘ The Industry.’
Most of Japanese thought it was a dangerous man to see this movie. The Industry must have thought it was useful for destroying the opponent. I was fallen into this trap…
Cross of Iron ( 1977 ) by Sam Peckinpah, main actors; James Coburn, Maximilian Schell, James Maison
Japanese title was ‘ Guts of War.’ It meant ‘ Heart of Darkness in War.’
Anyway, I decided to call the above man as ‘ Nishiguchi ( 西口：West Exit ).’ It was named by Japanese Media that was out of spite to whom usually could see in West Exit of Shinjuku Station ( it was me ). It was a typical bullying of Japanese to sugarcoat.
To see it, Buredoo said with disappointed, ” He’s sorry… ” — She seemed to know his future.
III-2. After approaching of The Industry, Tambar-2 revealed in my mind almost every day. She preferred to stand in front of me like a TV announcer. Exactly, she often revealed the time when I watched TV morning news. It became my habit to watch the morning news.
She looked so brilliant that it was as like The Goddess. But she did not introduce her name and where she came from. She only spoke Japanese frequently. There was not any different accents from Japanese.
She said, ” You quitted a job, so I’ll watch you instead of them.”
— It sounded a satire to the present Japanese. Because Japanese monitoring society allowed to watch people not to work. They thought it a good way to correct people. Some of them said, ” People must think to work if he knows it.” They were very punitive. And for they taught it by the way of some implied message, it looked very creepy. Many people supposed to break the minds.
I had to get a new job. I applied another mail game company examination but I failed. I was afraid of some punishment from Japanese but nothing was come to me. It was seemed okay only to find a job. I never became high and depressed.
Tambar-2 also kept quiet. She was a mirror to show Japanese society. It was very convenient to know the movements of Japanese authority. But she gradually became saying something ANOTHER.
At first, she only told a fact. There were some assistants for her, they handed over some paper to her. She looked an announcer to read their papers.
” He is a molester — That’s wrong.”
” He haven’t worked — Yes, true. No, wrong.”
” He suffered the mental disorder — That owed on you.”
” He did not go to the university and wasted time with his parent’s money — Oh, bad.”
She looked me with severe eyes. I suffered some kind of Final Judgement on living days. She wanted to say I was wrong. Certainly I did not go to university but what wrong it was. To enter the university was only the process of becoming a writer for me. But for I failed it, so I chose becoming a cheap writer to accomplish my dream. What was wrong ? I explained it to my parents and they allowed to do it. What was wrong ? — But Japanese educators only teach the ways of entering university or college, they never told this after. How we should work on Japanese society and how we should contribute to our society were. Most of young Japanese had to go to university or college with no purpose. The study was so hard that young Japanese could not share time for getting their dreams.
In my turn, It was supposed useless to become an author except for famous university’s graduate. All famous authors had the famous university’s graduate. To think about this formalism of Japan, I had to choose another way.
Somebody ( Sal Type man ) talked with laughing, ” I made him have to go to the third-rate university. … Oh, he did not go to ! ( 1993 )”
— My dream was cut off by them.
In Spring 1992, when I was walking around near the station, I saw a strange man standing. He resembled for Nakatra the kissing man, but he was different. He stared at me. When I was passing through, strange VOICE made a sound on his head. The VOICE said, ” Just shut up. He will play Pachinko soon.” He did not put on any earphone or headphone.
In Tokyo, there could be heard strange VOICE from human’s heads. Usually it was by female but it was by male in this time. — I decided to call this VOICE as ‘ SomeONE.’ Because I HEARD it that was the anonymous computer sound the after. In Tokyo, many people were seemed to control by this SomeONE. This man seemed a banker which I would make deposit a half year after. I felt something of time paradox and creepy when I realized it. But it was Tokyo.
Another day, I saw a resembled man for this banker in the same place of near the station. He was also standing and looked at me. I just passed through on him. He was taller than this banker. From his body, I could heard THEIR laughing. He was a private detective of whom once I had hired for detecting eavesdropping on my room. I could not understand why he was standing. Anyway, I decided to call him as ‘ Takafka.’ Because I HEARD his VOICE after ( in 1998 ). He judged something to say like that, ” Pass ( 可：Ka ),” and ” Not pass ( 不可：Huka ).” — I could not understand what he wanted to judge.
Nakatra, this banker, Takafka — they looked similar so that I called them Rutsu Type men. Because Myura-1 once called me ‘ Rutsu ‘ and Nakatra would regard me as his original man ( in 1994 ).
It was a very complicated story and I even confused to explain. To know it all, you had to gather all men, including me. The banker looked the smaller than Takafka, Takafka was taller than others. And Nakatra was slim than others. The Obvious different point was that I wore glasses but others did not. And even I was the tallest than others. But in the case of the spiritual body images which we could SEE, the banker had the tallest slim body than others including me.
By the way, as other Rutsu Type men, there were Shii-chan, Gotoshi, Tesaki ( Tesaki-2 ) and Little Tesaki ( Tesaki-1 ). They supposed to have the different histories from each other, it made this issue understood hardly. And it made nonsense to know who was the original of these Rutsu Type men.
— The life of my 1994 to 1996 was almost for detecting this issue. SomeONE seemed to predict that Rutsu Type man would solve The Mystery. Then THEY imagined of whom was Rutsu Type man and THEY made a lot of Rutsu Type men. Most of them were overconfident and said something strange. Some of them pretended to know everything.
By the way, this mystery was quite strange. To know what was the mystery was the first mystery. But THEY believed to get all mighty power if THEY could solve the mystery. — I only use it to know The Aliens’ world. I found there were a lot of information about aliens in this mystery. Anyway, I called it ‘ The Riddling.’ THEY usually used it for destroying the evidence. Then THEY drew into the vicious power. And then THEY occupied this power. It was seemed a stylized invasion pattern which THEY usually set on.
I called it ‘ The Peaceful Invasion.’ Because all persons in the vicious power could not realize it The Invasion. They only thought it helpful to destroy the target. THEY were good at hiding the truth. The Riddling was for it and The Mystery was for The Riddling like the issue of Rutsu Type men. THEIR true target was not the man like me but Tokyo and Japan.
III-4. The society of Japanese in Tokyo looked mad for me, but I had to continue writing. There was an agreement with my father to become a writer within two years. It was in May 1990, There was no time to be left. I asked my father to extend the duration. I thought that I could get along with something writing. I was an opportunist who never knew the hardship of life.
But now, the hardship of life attacked on me almost everyday. The Tambar-2 was. She was a fulfiller in behalf of Japanese authority. She said, ” You need the mental treatment.” — She told a truth by pretending for Japanese society.
Then I could see the face of Yuu again. But in this time, she looked very clear in my mind. She revealed on my mind to say, ” I’ve come again.” And she showed her face so long. I was surprised rather than felt creepy. Who made this program ? She looked like lively human. But she never understood my mind, she only imposed her idea. As saying, ” You love me. Yes, I know. You cannot live without me…”
She said it when I was dreamed in the morning. Then I woke up and SEE Tambar-2 in the morning news. She looked laughing slightly. Her fellows said, ” It’s good to be seen by her.” They all felt ecstasy. — I wondered that I was born in wrong age.
To see it, I could not become understanding all things in this society. I shouted, ” I can’t believe ! ” — But no one heard this crying, and THEY were only laughing. To tell these strange matters was supposed to lead me to a psychiatric hospital. My status was so weak that THEY could be laughing with arrogant. To change my situation, I had to grasp the hard-to-move evidence.
To think about my history, THEY supposed to come from Asahi Newspaper. So I applied one audience participation TV program on TV Asahi. They declared no relation with socialism, but I did not believe it. I thought it a good chance to know about THEM.
I was afraid of that my intention was detected by them because my thought was all heard by Tambar-2 however, I could take part in this TV program somehow. It was possibly the supposed effect of that I could do anything with the less thinking the after when I was telephoned by Asahi Newspaper. Or Tambar-2 might only be one-way communication which did not accept any objections ( and never escape from it ).
Anyway, I joined this TV program. It was a presentation program which the participators discussed about some theme. My theme was for Nessie in Loch Ness. In Japan, Japanese Media told it something funny but they never investigate the truth. They were just liars. They also said a lie for UFO. It was the time when Mass Media told something lies about Majestic-12 ( MJ-12 ) repeatedly. I HEARD about the president of Nippon TV told a joke after, ” I am The Alien.” — It would be critical trouble if it were true. I felt the need of correction to solve the problem. But for concealing my true aim, I made my presentation funny. Usual Japanese preferred funny, so I put a satire into this funny presentation. And then, I could enter the heart of darkness in Japan squarely.
On the way to TV Asahi, I saw a strange guy. When I was walking around this television’s building, I felt somebody was rushing into me on my back. As I looked back, this guy was surprised and stopped. He had a squared face. After making sure my safety, I started walking again. Then I felt somebody’s rushing on my back again. Looking back, there was the same man rushing into me. He was surprised and stopped. He and I repeated it for three times. After I waited for his passing, I walked the behind of him. I thought he was in Asahi building, but he passed through it in silence. I entered the building. Somebodies must have hated me.
The inside of Asahi, I was given a room to make my presentation. It was a room where no one was there. As I had already felt my danger, I would make a plan to defend at first. I only had scissors using for weapon. I put these scissors on easy to hand, and I sat forward to the door.
On the rehearsal, a producer had come with bringing two men. They looked this program’s sponsors ( But THEY said it wrong the after. THEY told them for the men who could enter this television ). The producer ordered something to his director. After that, the director said, ” We must drive him out.” His clerks agreed in silence. And the more, I continued feeling some the silent pressures, so I got nerve.
On the air, I performed my presentation with my favor. To see the different presentation from its rehearsal, the director was surprised a little but I only ridiculed the Mass Media’s lies. They were stupid who believed themselves in justice even though they had broadcast such a lie. But for I did not take care of the time limitation, I could not finish my presentation in time. The result was the worst. And in the middle of program under TV commercial, other participators suddenly moved away from me. The camera caught ours to leave me alone. Other participators were in cahoots with them. I realized it and soon I ray down on the chair, so that the picture made damned to broadcast. The camera man shouted silently, ” Shit ! “
— I thought this presentation was okay because I could get the judge’s cold laughing. The conspired participators also praised me for interesting. They never realized my true aim. I succeeded to conceal it.
— I could convince that they had some relations with me. They supposed to invite me for bullying in front of audience. They prepared the way of bullying from the start, other participators could do it in front of me with no command. But for whether I could get people’s laughing enough than they expected, their bullying did not stop only to do it…
III-5. Next day, I woke up with the doorbell’s ringing in the afternoon. The TV show had done until early morning, so I fell asleep as soon as I went home. When I opened the door, there stood my elder brother. My brother looked around in my room and said, ” I heard you went mad. You put strange pictures on whole walls of your room.”
— What ? Yes, certainly I put many copied papers using for my TV appearance on the wall. But those were only in my room. No one could see it. I put them on the wall after I went home and I fell asleep however, I threw them until the noon then I fell asleep again. No one could see them unless somebody had gotten in my room.
My brother said, ” The owner of your room said so. Is it right ? ” I answered, ” Yes. But I’ve already thrown them because they looked creepy.” My brother replied, ” Certainly. I will stay your room today. I was stolen my bicycle.” — I heard he was under bike trip to foreign countries. But he came back to Japan when the owner said so to my mother. It meant that the owner looked my pictures and telephoned to my mother then my brother came back to Japan. What a strange ! — I understood my brother from his saying that he was just under spring vacation and went abroad.
He repeatedly asked me, ” Are you okay ? ” I just answered, ” I’m okay now.” — I felt good for that I had succeeded to show my presentation on TV. But he always looked around my room. I kept clean my room because I had too much time. I did not do anything that The Industry expected.
” What is that ? ” — My brother pointed at the outside of my room’s roof balcony. There were the nylon stockings hanging out from the upstairs’ balcony. I explained it, ” It was hung out for a week. A woman lives in my upstairs.” My brother asked back, ” Doesn’t she seduce you ? ” I answered, ” I’m in trouble for that.” — Then the woman was coming into her room and made the noisy steps.
My brother said, ” I understand. It’s wrong of them.”
I had suffered The Attic Attack…
Children of Paradise ( 1945 )
In Japan, It was also called ‘ Tenjou-sajiki ( 天井桟敷：ceiling gallery ). It was wrong using which showed Japanese Nazi hobbies.
This ceiling gallery was used for destroying the target. They occupied the around rooms of target, then added lots of harassments that they could consider. — Noisy steps on upstairs, hanging the stockings from balcony, listening too loud music, saying the target for a fool or gone mad, hitting the wall too noisy and etc. The target also got diarrhea or vomiting or felt itching then became unwell.
To claim them was usually ended nothing in vain. They only did it with weakened. They had to make the target insane. They were supposed to control by The Industry or Yakuza in the behind. In Japan, they could USE or TALK in this case. It was the best weakened way of harassment. I HEARD The Industry excused it for making A STORY ( The NETA ). They could affirm anything to make A STORY.
To escape from it, you should buy a house. But it did not become free from The Attic Attack completely. THEY sometimes stroke your house by The Maggot or The TALK Line. You might had lost your privacy but it was little okay than living in an apartment. You could live without listening noisy sounds. However, you should pay attention for the neighbors’ family breakdown. They would stalk to you everywhere in anytime.
III-6. Anyway, I was in the cold war with my apartment’s owner. I should have changed my room but I was fed by parents so that I could say so. I had to become a writer quickly.
When I started writing my story, a suited man came to me and said, ” Didn’t you go to university, did you ?
— I could not say anything. I could not understand what was wrong with not going to university. But the eyes which looked down on people were from The Industry.
Then I could see many recruits who were introduced me as a fool. It was in Spring. Many Japanese students had entered Japanese companies. In some company, somebody made them visit to me. Their introducer said to them,
” You will see the fate of whom did not go to the university.”
— He was supposed a sponsor-like whom I had seen in TV Asahi.
The above man asked him back, ” Is that okay ? “
His voice could be heard in the air, ” We’ll do anything if we could escape from this crime.”
— Gradually, I could become HEARING the struggle on The Industry. The resonance supposed to occur on me with The Industry after I had appeared on TV. This company was seemed to be hard. It was not so wrong but the coordinator was the worst. But Japanese Media only broadcast them the worst.
Even I could SEE somebody twittered, ” It’s just okay to do so for such a stupid guy.” And laughing slightly.
— He was seemed a responsible man in some newspaper. Japanese Media already had such power which could cause the resonance to the target.
I decided to call him ‘ The Box.’ Because THEY told his name to me. This man would grasp the power of one Japanese television the after. But he merely did not appear this confession.
Being brought such real delusions to me, I had to write my story at any costs. There was the less time to be allowed by my father. Their delusions were not good for my writing. They were always interrupting my writing to see such delusions. Even Tambar-2 continued showing some delusions almost every day. But I kept writing hard.
As it was the time when no internet was, I often stopped writing to research words. Only to research one word, I spent time for a week. I was running around bookstores and libraries, but when I could not find it, sometimes I went to foreign bookstores. I read the foreign books with a dictionary in one hand. Japanese English education was not useful for doing that.
However it was, I made a story. It was a story of that young heroes developed an airplane and flew on the fantasy world.
In this world, most people could fly by magic so that no one considered to fly by airplane. A young guy just only dreamed to fly like a bird, but it was hated by the wizards who controlled this world behind the back. Thus, the young guy was naturally involved into the battle between scientific and unscientific…
While writing this story, I HEARD a strange VOICE to say that, ” It is ended with unfinished… “
— It was come from The Dalk ( Dalk-1 ). I could not understand why she said so.
My story as itself was the battle of scientific and unscientific.
Waterloo ( 1970 ) by Sergei Bondarchuk, main actors; Rod Steiger, Christopher Plummer, Orson Welles
I referred this movie to write my story. The battle of Waterloo supposed to have several suggestions for us. For example, d’Erlon meant The One ( A-Country ), Reille meant Rei people. But I did not realize it well at this time. THEY preferred such riddling…
When I was in the struggle with my story, I could see there was young boys who entered to the room in front of my house. It was the first time to see people entering in front of my house. They entered the room to say, ” Is he ? “
In the room, I could listen a woman’s voice. But I could not see her figure at all. I could not find from where and when she had entered this room. Her voice explained to them, ” Put it in this kettle for hiding it. Just in case.” One of them responded it, ” You did so. You hooked.”
— I found she monitored me likely. It was not certain of the relationship with Nakatra and his girlfriend. And maybe it was supposed the way of telephone to my mother. I HEARD the owner of my room said the after, ” I did not enter his room.” She or Dalk watched it and telephoned to the owner then the owner telephoned to my mother, that I supposed.
Anyway, I decided to call her as ‘ Akiko ( Akiko-1 ).’ Because men who knew her well SAID so. She looked fat than we could SEE. She was very aggressive psychopath who I had ever seen. And she was supposed one of The Girl ( a preceding agent ). Because THEY called her ‘ The Thing from Another World ‘ in 1994. — It meant whether THEY had already intruded into this Earth. — I could not confirm it yet. But I was describing this story of that THEY could do so.
— Japanese title was ‘ Thing X from Wandering Star ( 遊星よりの物体X ).’
A very interesting movie of that the aliens maintained The Earth people for agents to save The Earth.
In this story, there was no MIB ( Men in Black ) to threaten people or save people. THEY only said, ” You save The Earth.”
— It was quite a troubled story.
As there was no way to escape from THEM ( THEY were always conspiring something ), I would start from identifying THEM. I decided to call them who SAID something strange as ‘ THEM ( THEY ),’ and call the intelligent lives who supposed to invade this Earth as ‘ Species.’ In this Species, I called the agents who intrude on this Earth directly as ‘ The Intruders.’ THEY used the girls for preceding agents ( The Girls ).
There was below the relation with these words.
THEM ( THEY ) > The Intelligent lives ( The Aliens ) > The Species > The Intruders > The Girls
THEY were not always meant for The Aliens. THEY had the possibility of whom only could TALK. They might be just this Earth people or The Intra-terrestrials on The Earth. But it was a critical problem, if it were true. However, THEY would treat it easy as natural things. It was seemed a usual thing for THEM to invade a new-intelligent-life’s society. THEY called it for sightseeing.
In exact, The Intruders were a group of stupid. I often could SEE THEY said a fool for The Intruders. For example, THEY said that Akiko was a program which escaped to a wandering star. In her home planet, it seemed to cause severe struggles between humans and computers ( The Androids ). THEIR central computer made The Girls and they bashed the people. Then people could repel her, but she continued resisting by moving to space.
Such the stupid came to this Earth and tried to conspire something. So THEY always took care about the eyes of others. We had to argue whether such Intruders were the agents from their government or not. There was the possibility of that they were only bandits. But they were also Time Bandits.
The Intruders supposed to have their history on Earth, so we could not confirm them as The Aliens actually. It might only have meant for they were mind-controlled by The Aliens. But their lives usually became strange. Somebody went to mental hospital, another offended a crime. It possibly showed that their lives were only for The Agent. They looked living only for doing it. Their lives were usually become below.
- They were liars so that they were disliked by others.
- Some of them offended a crime ( shoplifting or molesting ).
- Some of them went to mental hospital.
- Most of them were not remarkable in their school age.
- They became prominent after the graduation.
- They changed the appearance after the graduation.
- They sometimes misunderstood own history or other histories around them.
— These were often seen in ordinary persons so that we could not make it an evidence. But they tended to go to dangerous places, and they did TALK and USE. And tried to monitor people. They did not mind offending privacy. It was as like computers did not have any privacy. To watch these persons, we could catch above stories. It was not certain whether such the above persons became The Intruders or The Intruders would impersonate such the above persons. In latter case, the original of them were supposed to kill or move to another world.
To tell the more, THEY had emphasized the patients in some mental hospital, it was supposed a special place for THEM. The Intruders supposed to invade by pretending for mental disorder. It was also a usual way for us to spy. THEY also supposed to do it.
The Intruders were persons of whom could get peace of mind to monitor people. They wanted to know anything about the target. Something was strange. But their difference from us was only supposed in their brains. Something special would have been in and out of their brains.
After I convinced to be monitored, I thought the need to explain my identification. I had already told my dream of becoming a writer to the owner however, others did not suppose to know it. They obviously doubted me a suspicious person.
In those days, Tambar-2 had revealed on my mind repeatedly, and continued saying something strange. She said one or two sentences in a day, then she only showed her tall figure. Her sayings were usually different from previous days, sometimes her look was different. Usually she looked white-colored, but sometimes she looked black-colored. In the time when she looked black-colored or her background looked black-colored, she was very danger.,
Whitened Tambar-2 suddenly appeared and said, ” You are the molester as expected.”
— I could not understand why she said so suddenly.
But she asked the more, ” You have done the molesting by bicycle.”
— I could not understand how I did it by this way. It was hard.
Then she called her assistant and he sent something paper to her. She read it. She did a personal TV show for me. But she vanished soon.
Another day, she revealed again. She explained to her audience, ” We cannot see him unless he was molesting.” And said to me, ” You are the molester.” — But there was no reaction from the audience. She showed her tall figure by standing in silence. She waited for something.
Next day, blackened Tambar-2 revealed and said, ” I did the molesting ! ” She vanished soon, then whitened Tambar-2 revealed and shouted, ” You are the molester ! ” — But no reaction was come from her audience. After a while, grey-colored Tambar-2 revealed from the side and said wrongly, ” We will make him a molester.”
” …Shut up,” said the audience. Grey-colored Tambar-2 was vanished soon.
The more next day, whitened Tambar-2 revealed and said, ” You did molest.” And laughing slightly. But soon she realized something wrong. She said, ” Nothing had changed…” She was vanished with bashed by someone.
After a few days, whitened Tambar-2 revealed again as like nothing had happened. She wore in black suits however, her looking came back to Goddess. She praised me as a great man. From her audience, the words were thrown, ” Is he a main actor ? ” She answered, ” Yes.” She said so willingly. The audience were also laughing. It was seen as mocking for me. They told me something how special I was. But most of these conversations could not be reached to me. I only could understand the main character had special meaning for them.
— THEY showed some kind of semiotics. Molesting and Main Actor were seemed special words for THEM. Probably THEY supposed to need the reason to SEE me. It was uncertain why THEY had to do so, however, it would be easy to understand that THEY were only one of programs and needed unlock key to offend crime. Living human did not need the reason to offend a crime.
While they were talking, Tambar-2 explained the reason to SEE me.
” He had offended a murder but we cannot make him murder again, so we will make him a molester.”
— She mentioned there was something the previous life.
That was supposed G-Country. The people who had known G-Country sometimes said, ” THEY mad.”
III-7. The boys of neighbors could often seem to see some strange visitors, I could hear their shouting, ” Why do you enter this room from the window ?! ” The visitor answered something, but I could not hear. The visitor seemed to explain how I was dangerous. It was supposed Dalk-0. She left the room soon because the boys could not understand what she wanted to talk. She could not seem to have any confidence what she would do.
One day, the boys were surprised with the supposed Takafka visited there with bringing some portable antenna. He seemed to tell the way of spying my word processor’s monitor. They listened to his words in silence.
Another day, the supposed Nakatra seemed to visit this room with antenna. To see him, they shouted, ” Strange man with antenna come again ! “ — I could not see the boys to enter this room then.
— They seemed to have the necessity to hide the existence of Takafka. Once I hired him when Shii-chan had left a pull tab and I injured my toe severely. I suspected the eavesdroppers in my room. He was an assistant of my private detective. It costed 280,000 yen, but it was cheap for them. They turned over to my enemy.
Too cheap room, the cheapest word processor, and the cheap guarantee — those were nothing to work on me well. In Japanese proverb, it was mentioned that —
Losing money to buy cheap goods.
I was poor, so there was no choice except for doing so. I could not ask my parents for the more money. This struggle would be changed soon to the battle of the predator and predator-prey.